Nanny-Lingo 101

Hopefully this is short, sweet, and to the point. A simple guide to learn what nannies mean. 

What does that mean may be the most commonly asked questions when abbreviations like NF, MB, or GMB start flying out of a nanny’s mouth. In keeping with this nanny theme here is a simple list defining the words. Let’s call it the Guide to Nanny Lingo 101 (in no particular order):

• NF – NannyFamily
• NP – NannyParents
• MB – MomBoss
• GMB – GrandmaBoss
• DB – DadBoss
• GDB – GrandDadBoss
• Charge – The child (or children) that a nanny watches, they are in the “charge” or care of the nanny
• NK – NannyKid (also known as charge)
• A, B, C or any other random letter you see a in replace of a name – Many nannies refer to their NK by their first initial either for anonymity reasons or character count. Some also choose to use nicknames (like I do with Bear and Bug) for the NK.
• Au Pair – Someone living in a foreign country providing childcare and light house work.
• Live-In Nanny - Someone who lives with their NF. There are different levels of Live-In's, click here for more details on that. 
• SAHM - Stay at Home Mom
• SAHD - Stay at Home Dad
 

 

This list is not exhaustive, but it covers the basics. 

Check out SitterCyle for another helpful list with different terms. 

Are there any other words or nanny-lingo you want to know the meaning of?

ceconner©9.4.2014

Gratitude

Yesterday it took a 45 minute battle to get Bear out of his jammies and into real clothes. Today after 30 minutes I gave up (with a plan). I got Bug situated in the Car then picked up a diapered but otherwise naked Bear along with his pants, t-shirt, socks, and shoes for the day, and struggled to get my adorably cute screaming toddler-filled NK in his car-seat. 

The wonders of a car ride to calm a crying child down.

The success story is by the time we pulled into the parking lot Bear was happy and excited to get dressed and go shopping for our trip to the beach. 

On the way home I couldn’t help but be grateful that MB/DB get to deal with Bear’s “I don’t want to wear pajamas” phase for the next two days. 

And it hit me, I have been so stressed out by Bear’s becoming a full blown terrible two toddler moments that I have forgotten an important part of my job. 

Gratitude. 

 As I write this blog I am in the back of a minivan; DB is driving, MB is alongside of him tickling Bear’s little toes as Bug stares out the window. Bear’s laughter of “tickle me again Mama” rings throughout the car and I am once again struck by how much I have to be grateful for. 

Laughter.

Bear and Bug love to laugh.

ALL the Time!

There is more laughter and love in our days then there is crying and tantrums. This is a fact that I need to remind myself daily. The 30/45 minutes of rough mornings is nothing compared to the 7 ½ hours of fun and laughter we share every day. 

Love. 

 

 I am living and working with a family that has a deep love for each other. Parents who love each other and their boys dearly. A Nanny-Family who has welcomed me open arms into their family and has loved me like a sister. And two adorable boys that pour more love into my life than I have received from any human being.

Time.

I am blessed to work with a NF who trusts me, who gives my good guidelines, and have great open communication. Because of all of these things I am given the ability to schedule our days, arrange play-dates, play-time, and lunch-time. Having time and freedom in a job has become such a wonderful benefit. On top of that I have nights and weekends free, something that I am finding is rare in the nanny community. I have time for my NF, time for new friends, old friends, and most importantly myself. 

Fun. 

The root of all great nanny jobs is fun. We have fun. Whether is playing sports outside, building an epically horrible replica of a sandcastle with Duplos, jumping of the couch, or wrestling we have more laughter in our one day then some do in their whole week. 

This weekend I hope to focus on being constantly more thankful for what I have. 

ceconner©9.3.2014

Pajama Wars and Humble Pie

I have been eating a lot of humble pie this month.

I mean A LOT!

 

This week the humble pie hit me smack in the face, like whip cream pie splash.

 

On Monday the boys and I were at a local community center, while there I saw a little boy about 3 years old in full blown footy pajamas. I snootily thought "how on earth could a parent/nanny let their child out in public like that". Then Tuesday hit with a ton of bricks throwing that whip cream pie right in my face. Bear woke up and decided that pajamas were the only thing he wanted to wear. With a small rift he got in jeans and t-shirt and to the playground but as soon as we were home back on with the pj's. Not caring too much about what he wears at home I didn't mind.

Last night as his parents were getting ready for dance class as we realized he had the same batman shirt on for 3 days and nights! What just happened to me as a nanny? How did I become that person who let their NK wear the same shirt for three days?

This morning, oh boy this morning was a rough one. A battle I should have let slide but my pride and pajama wearing in public hating self wouldn't let it. It took 45 minutes, lots of tears, counting to 10 like 10 times, and little bribery but we did it. Bear was out of his pajamas, in real clothes, and happily in the car for our play date.

"I have become my Father"! 

Flash backs of him refusing to let me wear pj's and sweats to school crashed into my brain. I get it now, the pride, the "what will people think of me" "my child/NK can't wear that" thought process. 

In the end does it matter if Bear wears his pajamas in public or not?
Not really. 

Would I stick to my guns and do the same thing if I had a redo this morning?
 Probably.
Should I?
Who knows.

Bear has his wants and I have my pride. With this toddler thing becoming full blown I am sure pajama wars are only the first humble pie being thrown.

Ready or not I am about to become an expert on pajama wars..
...or humble pie..
...too bad it can't be apple pie instead. 

ceconner©10.2.2014

31 Day Challenge, Welcome to October!

A dear friend and fellow blogger, Katie, started a 31 day challenge for October to write about singleness! My first thought was "wow that is a lot of writing on a really tricky topic"! My second thought followed quickly "I need that challenge".

But lets change the topic. 

This is a Nanny Blog after all. 

Since it is now October 1st and I am just starting the thought process lets not limit it to one specific topic but keep it open ended, anything relating to the field of nanny works. 

Some posts may be long, some may just be pictures, others random thoughts for the day.

The important thing is that I am taking up the challenge. 

Why?

Writing is beneficial for everyone involved, mainly me the writer and you the reader. I started this blog a few months ago in hopes of connecting, encouraging, and building a nanny community. Thanks to the wonderful world of social media that has been happening wonderfully. Still I feel I have kind of failed on the blogging end, barely writing more than two posts a month. 

You get, it life gets busy, while spending days with kids is emotionally and mentally draining. That is the part of this that is going to be a challenge. Consistency in writing everyday. Hopefully with ideas that don't bore you, better yet topics that intrigue and resonate with you.  The  motivation to stay consistent is not just to become a better writer, but to build a stronger community, to become a better nanny, and in the end a stronger person. A person who can set and stick with a goal.

As there are only 2 strong ideas floating in my head I need your help! 

What topics would you love to see discussed here in the next 31 days?
#NannyChallenge

ceconner©10.1.2014

If You Don't Stay Home With Kids...

...You Don't Know How Annoying Your Day Time Noise Is!

Yes, I really just said that. 

I will keep this post short and sweet since I generally don't like to negatively rant. 

But this noise has gone on long enough that ranting might just be the thing I need to cleanse my soul from the negativity building.

Speaking of building, the house next store is totally gutting and rebuilding their house, has been for the last month. Nice people, living out their mother's wish of keeping the house in the family, a house that needs and is getting a total make over. At the expense of my nerves.

Something you might not know about Seattle, it does not actual rain all day everyday. Anytime between 11:30 -1:30 the sun usually makes it ways through the clouds and turns Seattle into a perfect green playground of life. 

Or a perfect place to rebuild a house every afternoon. Every afternoon at the same exact time that I put the boys down for nap, without fail. 

All morning we will be playing quietly inside or traipsing in the yard exploring all the new garden spiders popping up.  With little to no noise coming from our next store neighbor's. Lunch time we can hear the birds start to chirp and the sun rays poking through the clouds. As I lay Bug down for his nap, with out fail within 20 minutes hammers, saws, and lots of loud banging starts...and continues...for the next 3 hours. Ending with just the right amount of bang to wake up the precious sleep of my little men. Killing the sweet quiet time of my day and the rest that they desperately need to function.

Yes it is their right to rebuild their home. 

Yes it is life that neighbors are going to be loud.

Yes our house has it moments of drum banging and screaming children. 

But now I realize just how annoying it is to have neighbors, everyday, make countless amounts of noise.

Oh well. 

Such is life.

And Yes I feel better getting this off my chest. 

ceconner©9.27.2014

Lets Play Some Football

Sunday, for some the day of rest -for us this week it was a day for Bear to reignite his love for football; as much as a 2 1/2 year old can love anything.

 

It's only Wednesday but ever since the Seahawks lost to the Chargers this past weekend Bear has been pretty protective of his football. He will run across the yard yelling "tackle me". If I don't chase after him we will come grab my hand and walk me into the yard to tackle him. After he is tickled and tackled it becomes my turn to run with the ball and when Bear finally catches me and grabs my leg I fall down with a big thud so he can tackle me. Continually press repeat and welcome to the last three days of my life. 

We were at one of our favorite parks yesterday when Bear found a football and from across the field yelled "Elizabeth Tackle Me". I was talking to MB's friend who we ran into so I called out to Bear to play catch with Bug who was toddling behind his older brother. But this was not what Bear wanted, so he ran over, grabbed my hand, and started pulling me onto the field. What else could I do but go tackle him?

Honestly, I enjoy it!
Chasing after Bear, ending up in a pile of laughter and giggles brings lights to my day. Especially on those days where I tend to be a bit grumpy.

Yesterday being 5'4" on a grassy field with a bunch of 3 year olds started to become obvious after a few minutes. So I began to look around noticing for the most part there wasn't much playing happening on this playground. Sure there were kids digging in the sand, babies being pushed on swings, and toddlers climbing up the stairs to pick which slide they would use to come down, but there were no giggles, no laughter, no cries for mommy, daddy, or nanny to come play.

 

I get it - we were at a park, a playground, a place where kids can run around and parents get a few minutes of breathing room from being constantly tugged on. Parks are a place where kids can be kids and nannies don't have to worry about entertaining the children.

Does anyone else find it odd though that in the hour I was at the park laughter seemed obsolete? 
In the year that I have been taking the boys to various parks at random times throughout the day the moments I see adult/child interaction is like a rare gem instead of the norm.

So as much as I was enjoyed running around with Bear and rolling in the grass with the boys I felt out of place. Out of place by actually playing with my NK, out of place because of laughter and enjoying the boys I spend 8 hours a day with.  

This made me sad, really sad. It made me sad to think of all the moments I just want to get them to the playground for a few minutes of freedom. It made me sad for the times I sent them into the yard with a ball as I sat on the grass checking my twitter account. It made me sad for all of the parents/nannies who don't get to experience this with their kids.

Lastly it made me want to change - to stop and smell the roses so to speak. Yesterday while laughing on the ground surrounded by hovering parents, chatty moms, cell-phone dads, and tired nannies I remembered how short my time is with these boys. In the last year they have changed more than I expected; in the next year they will change even more. Soon my time with them will be over. When my time is up what will their few memories of me be?

From this day forward I hope they are memories of laughter and joy. Memories of rolling in the dirt, playing in the mud, and me yelling at Bear to "play some football"


ceconner©9.17.2014

Can You Work With a Stay at Home Mom?

We were sitting on the floor playing in his room playing with his bin full of toys. He was an only child, I was a nanny with a firm belief that kids need to learn to share. As he attempted to grab the train from my hand without asking I refused to give it to him until he politely asked for it -sounds reasonable right? Apparently not to him as he jumped up and ran into the office where his mom sat working. 

"Mommy, Nanny wont give me the train"

I rolled my eyes and gritted my teeth as I heard them coming down the hall. "Nanny, what happened?"

Forcing a smile "I asked Billy to politely ask for the train instead of grabbing it out of my hand" 

"Could you please just play with him nicely, I need to get this work done" she turned and walked back to her office, leaving Billy with a triumphant grin. 

It was week two and I knew this was going to be a long few months. 

This wasn't my first and it sure wasn't going to be my last time working with a stay at home mom (SAHM), but it sure was the worst experience.

Some of my earliest jobs in babysitting were with SAHMs and they were fun. Playing with the kids, helping with meal prep, and home work while mom was able to get some much needed house work or laundry done were regular jobs for a 12 year old girl. 

As that 12 year old babysitter turned into a 25 year old nanny some important lessons were learned along the way, especially about working with a SAHM. Here are few things I either ask directly or figure out before committing long term to working in a home with a SAHM (or SAHD).

 

1. What Do They Expect of Me When They Are Home? 

Am I responsible just for the kiddos? Do they want the light house work accomplished to? Am I there just to entertain and play with the child or am I to help partake in teaching the child social skills? This is the first thing I need to know if I am going to work with SAHM, their expectations of me and my role with their child.

2. Do I Agree With the Parents Parenting Style? This one takes either time or a lot of communication to figure out. Does the mom use attachment parents while you don't agree with it? Do they spank when you don't think they should? Do the parents set too strict of guidelines or not enough of them in your opinion? Then it's to figure out how I feel about either having similar or differentiating parenting styles.

3. Do the Parents Respect My Authority as a their Nanny? This is especially important if you have different styles of parenting. If you don't want to give Johnny a sweet treat before lunch and the parent doesn't want to deal with crying and gives him one after you said no, how do you feel about that? Does the parent respect the guidelines I set for little Susie while I am in their home? Or do the undermine them (even unintentionally) when Susie starts fussing?

4. How Open are the Parents to Communication and Input? This is a big one for any job, not just one with a SAHM. But especially when you are working with someone that stays at home, are they willing to talk about how things are going? Is your input allowed and validated? If things aren't working well with two of you home are you able to talk about how to make things better?

5. Am I Okay with The Answers to the Questions Asked Above? After all is said and done each nanny and each family has a different temperament and allowance for differences. So ask yourself how do feel if you disagree with the parents style but they respect yours while you are in the home? Or how would you feel if you disagree with how they are raising their child and they expect you to raise the child in the same manor? Are you okay with their eating habits, the child's activities, and the expectations the family has for you?

These are just a few things to consider. Personally I have way to strong of an opinion to work long term with a family that I can't agree with the parents. That is what happened with the family in the beginning of this story. They wanted a play-mate not a nanny so after a few months I called it quits. I just couldn't work for a family who didn't let me have any authority in the home, especially the few times when I practiced it the child actually listened and behaved better afterwards.

Some of you just don't care, in a good way - you are more laid back and easy going. Sure you don't agree with the parents but it is not your job to care, it is your job to love and play with your charge. There are days I wish I had your attitude and qualities I can learn from you.

When I started with my current NF I knew that MB had summers off while I would still be working with the boys. We both knew that this would change our days quite a bit. Weeks leading up to summer break we chatted frequently about how we saw the summer looking, which responsibilities we both had and our expectations.  For the first few weeks she was mindful of asking how things we were working out on my end and we talked about how she saw things working.

Bear was having a hard time letting me help him out this summer with his mom home, he couldn't understand why mom couldn't give him a drink or tuck him in for nap-time if she was home. MB and I talked about this and had to make a decision if it was a big deal or not. To us it was something we wanted to work on, we wanted Bear to know that at times it was appropriate to ask for Momma's help. He also needed to know there would be times that Mom would need to take care of Bug, be cleaning the house, or just not be available and that I was the one to help him. It took a few times of crying and one really bad tantrum, but the open communication with MB and persistence on both our parts got us through.

Before taking a job with a SAHM get to know yourself first. Figure out your style, what kind of authority you need, what things do you need to in your professional environment to thrive. Admit if you have a strong opinion on how things should be done and what areas you need to let go of. Learn how laid back you can be and what boundaries you need to set to not get burned. The first step of knowing who you can work with is knowing how you best work.  


Stay Tuned For Some Secrets In Working Along Side a Stay At Home Mom. 

ceconner©8.6.2014