Ice Skating and Face Planting

I walked into the rink yesterday with skates in hand...slightly nervous.

It had been over 3 years since I last put on a pair of skates...the thought of face planting worried me. The skate shop was like many I had seen over the years, the rink pretty much like the next one, the hockey kids still running around like the owned the place, and the snack bar had several bored parents waiting around it staying warm.

 

As I sat down to lace up my skates years and years of memories flooded over me. Memories of my Dad standing in front of me, pushing on my skates as a little girl, lacing them up just right, and letting me roam free on the ice. Memories of hockey games all around the WNY and Canadian border. The french fries, hot chocolates, and hundreds of hockey tournaments of my life. 

You see I was what they call a rink rat. Google defines it as:

"a young person who spends time around an ice-hockey rink in the hope of meeting players, watching practice, and spending time on the ice."

I knew all the players, my dad was the coach, and brothers team mates. The practices were fun to watch but no nearly as fun as screaming at the top of my lungs during a game. And spending time on the ice - that couldn't happen often enough. 

Stepping onto the ice yesterday all my nerves went from fear of falling to flash backs of skating freely at the rink before my Dad's game. Saturday nights growing up were family night's on my Dad's 35 and over league. After the Zamboni cleared the ice, before the teams entered, we kids had roughly 10 minutes to enjoy a freshly paved ice rink. With no more than 10 kids on the ice I had the freedom to skate, spin, and attempt to finally learn that hockey stop. 

 

It took me a few laps to get my bearings on the ice - okay really it took a few steps. Yesterday I realized being on the ice was a part of me. I might not skate all the time or may miss years of opportunity, but being on the ice gives me the feeling of flying. The very core of my heart soars when I hit the ice. Hopefully it is something that can happen several times this year.

Leaving the rink yesterday my cheeks hurt, I couldn't tell if it was from smiling so much or the cold of the ice, either way I left a happy and refreshed skater. 

Even after I face planted.



ceconner©9.12.2014

If You Don't Stay Home With Kids...

...You Don't Know How Annoying Your Day Time Noise Is!

Yes, I really just said that. 

I will keep this post short and sweet since I generally don't like to negatively rant. 

But this noise has gone on long enough that ranting might just be the thing I need to cleanse my soul from the negativity building.

Speaking of building, the house next store is totally gutting and rebuilding their house, has been for the last month. Nice people, living out their mother's wish of keeping the house in the family, a house that needs and is getting a total make over. At the expense of my nerves.

Something you might not know about Seattle, it does not actual rain all day everyday. Anytime between 11:30 -1:30 the sun usually makes it ways through the clouds and turns Seattle into a perfect green playground of life. 

Or a perfect place to rebuild a house every afternoon. Every afternoon at the same exact time that I put the boys down for nap, without fail. 

All morning we will be playing quietly inside or traipsing in the yard exploring all the new garden spiders popping up.  With little to no noise coming from our next store neighbor's. Lunch time we can hear the birds start to chirp and the sun rays poking through the clouds. As I lay Bug down for his nap, with out fail within 20 minutes hammers, saws, and lots of loud banging starts...and continues...for the next 3 hours. Ending with just the right amount of bang to wake up the precious sleep of my little men. Killing the sweet quiet time of my day and the rest that they desperately need to function.

Yes it is their right to rebuild their home. 

Yes it is life that neighbors are going to be loud.

Yes our house has it moments of drum banging and screaming children. 

But now I realize just how annoying it is to have neighbors, everyday, make countless amounts of noise.

Oh well. 

Such is life.

And Yes I feel better getting this off my chest. 

ceconner©9.27.2014

Lets Play Some Football

Sunday, for some the day of rest -for us this week it was a day for Bear to reignite his love for football; as much as a 2 1/2 year old can love anything.

 

It's only Wednesday but ever since the Seahawks lost to the Chargers this past weekend Bear has been pretty protective of his football. He will run across the yard yelling "tackle me". If I don't chase after him we will come grab my hand and walk me into the yard to tackle him. After he is tickled and tackled it becomes my turn to run with the ball and when Bear finally catches me and grabs my leg I fall down with a big thud so he can tackle me. Continually press repeat and welcome to the last three days of my life. 

We were at one of our favorite parks yesterday when Bear found a football and from across the field yelled "Elizabeth Tackle Me". I was talking to MB's friend who we ran into so I called out to Bear to play catch with Bug who was toddling behind his older brother. But this was not what Bear wanted, so he ran over, grabbed my hand, and started pulling me onto the field. What else could I do but go tackle him?

Honestly, I enjoy it!
Chasing after Bear, ending up in a pile of laughter and giggles brings lights to my day. Especially on those days where I tend to be a bit grumpy.

Yesterday being 5'4" on a grassy field with a bunch of 3 year olds started to become obvious after a few minutes. So I began to look around noticing for the most part there wasn't much playing happening on this playground. Sure there were kids digging in the sand, babies being pushed on swings, and toddlers climbing up the stairs to pick which slide they would use to come down, but there were no giggles, no laughter, no cries for mommy, daddy, or nanny to come play.

 

I get it - we were at a park, a playground, a place where kids can run around and parents get a few minutes of breathing room from being constantly tugged on. Parks are a place where kids can be kids and nannies don't have to worry about entertaining the children.

Does anyone else find it odd though that in the hour I was at the park laughter seemed obsolete? 
In the year that I have been taking the boys to various parks at random times throughout the day the moments I see adult/child interaction is like a rare gem instead of the norm.

So as much as I was enjoyed running around with Bear and rolling in the grass with the boys I felt out of place. Out of place by actually playing with my NK, out of place because of laughter and enjoying the boys I spend 8 hours a day with.  

This made me sad, really sad. It made me sad to think of all the moments I just want to get them to the playground for a few minutes of freedom. It made me sad for the times I sent them into the yard with a ball as I sat on the grass checking my twitter account. It made me sad for all of the parents/nannies who don't get to experience this with their kids.

Lastly it made me want to change - to stop and smell the roses so to speak. Yesterday while laughing on the ground surrounded by hovering parents, chatty moms, cell-phone dads, and tired nannies I remembered how short my time is with these boys. In the last year they have changed more than I expected; in the next year they will change even more. Soon my time with them will be over. When my time is up what will their few memories of me be?

From this day forward I hope they are memories of laughter and joy. Memories of rolling in the dirt, playing in the mud, and me yelling at Bear to "play some football"


ceconner©9.17.2014

Can You Work With a Stay at Home Mom?

We were sitting on the floor playing in his room playing with his bin full of toys. He was an only child, I was a nanny with a firm belief that kids need to learn to share. As he attempted to grab the train from my hand without asking I refused to give it to him until he politely asked for it -sounds reasonable right? Apparently not to him as he jumped up and ran into the office where his mom sat working. 

"Mommy, Nanny wont give me the train"

I rolled my eyes and gritted my teeth as I heard them coming down the hall. "Nanny, what happened?"

Forcing a smile "I asked Billy to politely ask for the train instead of grabbing it out of my hand" 

"Could you please just play with him nicely, I need to get this work done" she turned and walked back to her office, leaving Billy with a triumphant grin. 

It was week two and I knew this was going to be a long few months. 

This wasn't my first and it sure wasn't going to be my last time working with a stay at home mom (SAHM), but it sure was the worst experience.

Some of my earliest jobs in babysitting were with SAHMs and they were fun. Playing with the kids, helping with meal prep, and home work while mom was able to get some much needed house work or laundry done were regular jobs for a 12 year old girl. 

As that 12 year old babysitter turned into a 25 year old nanny some important lessons were learned along the way, especially about working with a SAHM. Here are few things I either ask directly or figure out before committing long term to working in a home with a SAHM (or SAHD).

 

1. What Do They Expect of Me When They Are Home? 

Am I responsible just for the kiddos? Do they want the light house work accomplished to? Am I there just to entertain and play with the child or am I to help partake in teaching the child social skills? This is the first thing I need to know if I am going to work with SAHM, their expectations of me and my role with their child.

2. Do I Agree With the Parents Parenting Style? This one takes either time or a lot of communication to figure out. Does the mom use attachment parents while you don't agree with it? Do they spank when you don't think they should? Do the parents set too strict of guidelines or not enough of them in your opinion? Then it's to figure out how I feel about either having similar or differentiating parenting styles.

3. Do the Parents Respect My Authority as a their Nanny? This is especially important if you have different styles of parenting. If you don't want to give Johnny a sweet treat before lunch and the parent doesn't want to deal with crying and gives him one after you said no, how do you feel about that? Does the parent respect the guidelines I set for little Susie while I am in their home? Or do the undermine them (even unintentionally) when Susie starts fussing?

4. How Open are the Parents to Communication and Input? This is a big one for any job, not just one with a SAHM. But especially when you are working with someone that stays at home, are they willing to talk about how things are going? Is your input allowed and validated? If things aren't working well with two of you home are you able to talk about how to make things better?

5. Am I Okay with The Answers to the Questions Asked Above? After all is said and done each nanny and each family has a different temperament and allowance for differences. So ask yourself how do feel if you disagree with the parents style but they respect yours while you are in the home? Or how would you feel if you disagree with how they are raising their child and they expect you to raise the child in the same manor? Are you okay with their eating habits, the child's activities, and the expectations the family has for you?

These are just a few things to consider. Personally I have way to strong of an opinion to work long term with a family that I can't agree with the parents. That is what happened with the family in the beginning of this story. They wanted a play-mate not a nanny so after a few months I called it quits. I just couldn't work for a family who didn't let me have any authority in the home, especially the few times when I practiced it the child actually listened and behaved better afterwards.

Some of you just don't care, in a good way - you are more laid back and easy going. Sure you don't agree with the parents but it is not your job to care, it is your job to love and play with your charge. There are days I wish I had your attitude and qualities I can learn from you.

When I started with my current NF I knew that MB had summers off while I would still be working with the boys. We both knew that this would change our days quite a bit. Weeks leading up to summer break we chatted frequently about how we saw the summer looking, which responsibilities we both had and our expectations.  For the first few weeks she was mindful of asking how things we were working out on my end and we talked about how she saw things working.

Bear was having a hard time letting me help him out this summer with his mom home, he couldn't understand why mom couldn't give him a drink or tuck him in for nap-time if she was home. MB and I talked about this and had to make a decision if it was a big deal or not. To us it was something we wanted to work on, we wanted Bear to know that at times it was appropriate to ask for Momma's help. He also needed to know there would be times that Mom would need to take care of Bug, be cleaning the house, or just not be available and that I was the one to help him. It took a few times of crying and one really bad tantrum, but the open communication with MB and persistence on both our parts got us through.

Before taking a job with a SAHM get to know yourself first. Figure out your style, what kind of authority you need, what things do you need to in your professional environment to thrive. Admit if you have a strong opinion on how things should be done and what areas you need to let go of. Learn how laid back you can be and what boundaries you need to set to not get burned. The first step of knowing who you can work with is knowing how you best work.  


Stay Tuned For Some Secrets In Working Along Side a Stay At Home Mom. 

ceconner©8.6.2014 

What is it Like being the Nanny?

To me it is normal and natural. It’s just life. But in the last month I have been asked several times in a variety of ways what Nanny life is like. The most recent time was on my trip home from NY at the airport. I was buying a pack of gum and got into a conversation about all the flight delays with the lady at the register. We ended up talking for a while as she learned that I was a Nanny and had several questions. Her co-worker and she genuinely seemed intrigued so I answered them more in-depth then I normally do in such conversations. As I walked away from the conversation I heard the cashier say how interesting of an occupation I had. 

Being a nanny interesting, huh? In the year I have been doing this full-time and all the years part-time I would have never qualified what I do as interesting. Then on the long flight home I got to thinking, from an on-lookers perspective the fact that any capable, self-sufficient person would choose to help raise someone else’s child has to be a bit interesting. To me it is normal life, to someone else it is the most bazaar thing ever- that I would actively choose to deal with dirty diapers, crying toddlers, and messy meals all day. 

Yes I do it everyday and people want to know why. Every family is different so every nanny situation is different so I am only going to answer for my own experience. Here as some of the questions I have come across to help enlighten the curious readers?

How many hours do I work? Personally on average 40 hours. Monday – Friday with an occasional weekend or night thrown in there. Many nannies work for multiple families averaging 60 hours+

Do I live with my Nanny-Family (NF)? Yes I do, I am called a live-in in the nanny world.

Do I have my own room? No they make me share the laundry room with the dog ;-) Yes I have my own room and own space. Most live-in's have their own room, on a VERY RARE occasion is a nanny asked to share a room with their charge. 

What's a charge? It's nanny lingo for the kid (or kids) that a nanny takes care of.

Are you on call 24/7 or have down time? I have down time, when I am off-the-clock I can check out as I wish. Out of respect I generally let my NF know where I am going and when I will be back but as long as it’s not illegal or harmful to my job or their family it is my time.

When you are home, off the clock, are you expected to work? Similar to the above question, when I am done for the day my NF is great at that being my time. Not every NF is this way. I often feel like I am a roommate then a nanny when the work day is over. Occasionally I will be asked to make a bottle, feed Bug, or watch Bear when he is outside. But this is because I have told them I am okay with this, it is not every day (nor every week), and I totally feel like I could say no and it be okay.

Do you have to clean or do laundry? I don’t have to really but I do. When I sat down with my NF the first week here we went over the job and naturally anything related to the boys I am asked to do: their laundry, emptying diaper pails, their dishes, and swiffering every few days to clean the dog hair (kids play on the floor). This is minor and totally part of the job. As I am building a nanny-community I have heard horror stories of NF wanting the whole families laundry done, hard cleaning like windows, moping, and dusting to be done. This is not the case at our house. 

Do you love the boys? Ummm…YES. I couldn’t do what I do everyday if I didn’t. That does not mean I love every minute and that I love the dirty work that comes with the job.

How long will you be there? I have NO clue. My first “contract” (yes most nannies sign a real contract) was for the end of June 2014. In January I signed up for another year. I might fulfill this year and leave or I might stay on another 5 years. In this field there generally is no cut and dry time frame. The end just happens. The kids or parents no longer need you, family dynamics start to become unhealthy, or one or both parties just knows it is time to move on. 

Won’t it be hard to leave? Heck Yes but I can’t think about that part until it happens.

What do you do all day? Depends on the day. We have a pretty good routine - mornings while Bug sleeps Bear and I find activities like Play-Doh, coloring, painting, or baking.  We try to get outside everyday  we can. Once or twice a week we take a special outing (check out Friday Field-Trips). While the boys nap in the afternoon, I do laundry, clean up a little, work on my blog, watch TV, read a book in the sun, or catch up with a friend or family member.

And my favorite...How do you do it?  I just do. I never know how to truly answer this question. How does a mom of 5 do it, how does a school teacher do it, or a firefighter. or police officer, or military personal…they just do. To some it is bazaar that I would choose to pick a career where I am “stuck” with two kids all day, but I feel that way about someone who chooses to be “stuck” in front math equations and scientific evidence all day. We all have our talents and passions. Yours may be with numbers while mine is with kids. Mentally my job is not stimulating, I have days where I long for adult conversation, and wish that the diapers would stop coming but every job has it's bad points. To me getting up every morning knowing that I get to spend the day playing with Bear and Bug and that I get to make an impact in these sweet boys lives is the best motivation on how I do my job.

ceconner©7.7.2014

Keep It Professional

Being on Twitter has recently become a favorite activity. Not because I am bored and needing to fill time, but because of the nanny community that I have begun to develop on there. If you are not a nanny it is hard to understand the struggles and pleasures of everyday life helping raise someone else's kids. Interacting with others who understand and encourage each other in it is refreshing. 

 

This interesting situation of being paid to (help) raise someone else's child is kind of unnatural and surreal for many people. Most full-time nannies spend anywhere from 35-60 hours a week with their chargers. In any situation where you are spending that quantity of time with another human being relationship and attachment is bound to form in one or both parties. Add the innocence and unconditional love that most children have and you have created a situation where attachment and love is guaranteed.

In the "Nanny World" there are several different types of levels of nanny. By level I mean amount of time spent with the children, requirements of the nanny, expectation of care, and open availability. The most demanding level would be someone who has a job much like Annie from Nanny Diaries. She is a live-in Nanny and expected to be on call 24/7 or anytime MB or DB requests - vacations and time off are hard to get.  The least demanding (for lack of better word) would be a part time nanny who works anywhere from 2-5 days a week doing basic child care while MB/DB work or run errands for those few hours. With every situation in between those two extremes I am always curious at what different nannies and agencies consider professional.

After a rather fun and long weekend with Bear and Bug I was exhausted yesterday before the work day even began. As I laid in bed before my day started I was thinking of two precious moments of cuddle time, one with each boy. With this heavy on my heart I posted:

"When you love someone else's child so much it hurts" #SignItIsGoingToBeHardToLeave                                               

Now I am not planning on leaving anytime soon (I committed at least another year) but as Bear and I laid in bed cuddling Sunday morning and my heart literally hurt because I love him so much. That is when I knew I was in trouble! Big trouble!

A sweet Nanny who also watches a family member's child made a comment  "#alwaysstayproffesional which is hard to do". Oh how she speaks truth!! The question that quickly popped in my head why is getting attached to our charges unprofessional  in our industry? What is unprofessional with developing a loving relationship with the kids that I spend all day every day with?

As I began to do some research the answer became very clear to my. Insecurity. One simple, complex, ugly word.  Both in the MB and the Nanny. I think most moms worry that the Nanny will be more loved, more needed, and more cherished than her. The Nanny worries that they will be let go, not be able to leave, or give up who they are for the children they watch. 

Here is the deal though if I want to be the best Nanny I can and do what is best for the boys I need to love them. Despite all the attachment and worries that may happen. When I can love the boys it allows me to do what is best for them. 

When I first started watching Bear and Bug I often would ask myself "If these were my kids how would I respond/what would I do"? Almost a year later I rarely ask that question because on some level they are mine. They are not my children! That is important to remember, I am not the parent but I am their nanny. In the same way one would use the verbiage "my niece, my nephew, my students" nannies often use the verbiage "my boys, my girls, my kids". We fully realize and know they are not ours in the end we are not the ones who have responsibility of how they turn out as adult humans, their parents are.

Some would say that is unprofessional, in the same way they would say it is unprofessional for a doctor or lawyer to become emotionally invested in their clients. However I would argue that becoming emotionally attached actually allows a professional to do what is in the best interest of their client or charge. Especially When It Comes To Kids!

Children need to feel loved and supported by someone! Whether it is Mom, Dad, or Nanny - children innately need to feel that love. They need to know someone has their back, their best interest, and will always be a support.  It is that last one "always be a support" that makes everyone a little worried about letting the little ones capture your heart. Because as a Nanny 9 out of 10 times you wont always be there in the end. My thought is that leaving is a natural part of all life. Even with parents that stay home and raise their kiddos, there will come a point when Mom or Dad wont be around to help out.

So it will be the same with the Nanny. You may be there for a month, a year, or 10 years. No matter how long you are investing in your children give them all you have. When a teacher starts at a new school they don't give half of themselves to their students in fear that they will only be teaching for a year. They give their all, pouring long hours and mass amounts of energy into their students and work. As a Nanny it should be the same.

We need to keep our professional standards high and give our chargers our all. Pour all the love and energy you can into them. They need you. They need your support. You are not their Mom. You are not their Dad. You are their Nanny, their best friend, their support system when MB and DB are away. Don't hold back in fear of the heart ache that will follow when your time with them is done. You don't do it with your best friends, your parents, your siblings so why do it with your NK? At some point every relationship ends, separation is a part of life and apart of our jobs.

 Embrace it.

 Love it.

 Love your Nanny-Kids.

ceconner ©6.2.2014

The Frustrated Nanny

I am frustrated.

 

Not mad just frustrated.

 

Like throw my hands-up, walk away, bury myself in a good book and don't come out until Bear is 5 frustrated.

 

Not at him but at myself.

Can I let you in on a secret? A horrible secret? At times I really don't like toddlers.

I like babies, little kids, teenagers, and adults but toddlers scare me so much that I don't like them. I love Bear more than I thought would ever be possible and am so extremely blessed to spend my days with him. My heart bursts when he runs up and squeezes my leg with a "big hug". I melt when he wraps his little arms around my neck just to say "I love you".  Today I couldn't hold in my laughter when Bear grabbed my face and pulled me in for the biggest sloppiest kiss ever. I love him so stinking much.

Yet I really just don't like him at times. Like when he hides behind the bushes for 10 minutes refusing to come out. A bush that has a billion honey bees buzzing around it, the only bush I will NEVER go behind because of all the honey bees. I don't like him when for the 20th time in a minute he asks "what's that" and I truly have no response for him, because apparently every explanation I have given him wasn't enough. Oh the "NO NO NO...MINE MINE MINE". Ugh!! I really don't like him then.

Last night as I lay wide awake for the 3rd night in a row trying to process my emotions one question kept rolling around in circles. "Why don't I like toddlers? What nitty gritty deep down reason don't I like them for?" Then like pole that Bear threw at me yesterday it hit me: I like control and you can't control toddlers.

Yup, toddlers are uncontrollable. You can teach them, train them, tie them down, put a TV show on or shove treats in front of them all day but you still can't control them. Bear is living proof. In truth he is great kiddo. For the most part he is well behaved, he generally listens, sleeps well, and has a sweet disposition. Still he is totally uncontrollable; not in an out of control way. As I sat this morning again trying to coax him out from behind that bee infested bush I knew that I would never win that battle until he was good and ready to come out.

The other reason I don't like toddlers is I can't understand their why's. As soon as the big 2 hit I no longer was able to grasp fully what Bear was thinking. With Bug it is easy, when he cries it is because he is hungry, tired, poopy, or wants to held. When Bear whines it is because he is frustrated...but at what??? It could be something that happened two seconds ago or 2 days ago and he wants me to read his mind or understand his toddler talk (one in the same at this point). I just can't. This time I want to pull my hair out in frustration. Then I get even more frustrated because I am so frustrated. It is a viscous cycle that needs to end.

I finally realize, it is not toddlers that I don't like...it is me around toddlers that I don't like. I don't like who I become around these uncontrollable strong willed creative adventurous walking little humans. I don't like that I struggle to keep my cool around them, that I get frustrated so easily with stupid things (why do I really care if Bear is behind the Honey Bee Bush), and that my attitude needs constant readjusting around toddlers. As my MB and I talked this afternoon she said made a great point, a "duh" moment...Toddlers are not Robots. I know this, but it is a great reminder that they aren't going to do everything that we want them to do.

 

I am faced with the truth - a truth I hate to admit - I don't know toddlers that well. People tell me I am great with kids, one person said I was a "baby-whisperer", so shouldn't this include toddlers? Surprise Surprise - nope because toddlers are not yet kids and are no longer babies. They are little people. They are learning. Learning to explore, learning that they can make decisions, learning they have a voice and an opinion. Toddlers are growing and developing. Just as we need patience from others they need patience from us.

Tonight Bear's dad was calling him to put his shoes on, Bear was looking really hard for a drum. I almost told him to go listen to Daddy but waited to see what he would do. Bear took 5 more seconds, found his drum beat it a few times and then ran to his Daddy and put his shoes on.This scene was a great reminder that as toddlers develop they have a mind of their own. Bear just wanted to play a drum, he wasn't ignoring his Dad he just had his mind set on finishing what he started. How many times a day do I finish what I am doing before responding to Bear's asking for water or Bugs cry to get picked up. So isn't it just as natural that toddlers learn the same thing.

I have two choices laying in front of me: I can either stay in my frustration not understanding what a toddler needs believing the lie I don't like toddlers. Or I can do my homework, realize that just because I don't fully understand toddlers does not mean I don't like them. So with a new book downloaded on my kindle and open communication with other toddler caretakers I am ready. Ready to like these little tykes that I am beyond blessed with, ready to stop the frustration, and ready to admit I really do like toddlers.

ceconner ©5.28.2014

Bad Day Moment

This post is brought to because two friends who got my brain going. 

1 - A new friend was inquiring on nanny life and asked me "what does a bad day for a nanny look like"? He sincerely was asking and I appreciated the thoughtful question; a question that took me a few seconds to answer. Honestly compared to what I used to do - I don't think bad days exist in my job anymore. Not that my old job was bad or hard, it is just my perspective on what I do now: playing with kids all day, go to work in PJ's, soaking up the sun, and getting anywhere from 1 -2 hour break most days leads to mostly good days.

His question had me thinking most of today why don't I have bad days? Well that is a lie I do have bad days, days where one or both boys wont go down for a nap, a day where either of them are cranky or whiny - this week both have had the nastiest diapers ever. Yet overall I look back and think man I don't have bad days - because in the end the hardest part of my day is dealing with the struggles of a 2 year old, not the demands of an adult boss, company, guest, or client.

2 - A fellow blogger and friend who knew I was looking for some new post ideas saw my Facebook status and commented that this would make a great blog post, so here it goes!

This afternoon I had a few things on my self-inflicted to do list: empty the dish-washer, finish cleaning the dishes from last night and this morning, help with dinner prep by chopping tomatoes, cucumber, making quinoa, do a much needed cleaning of my bathroom, and start a load of laundry. A pretty lofty list, I know but the last two have been on my list since Monday.

Bug is now in a stage of crawling and getting into everything so I had the wonderfully brilliant (or so I thought) idea of getting a sensory item going. Bear loved the cornstarch/water mixture and it kept him entertained for over a 1/2 hour so why not give it a shot with Bug. Thinking that Bug looked the same age as the kid in the link (above) my brain said it would be a great way to keep him busy while I at least got the dishes done.

So I took a glass baking dish, basically a whole box of cornstarch, and apparently way too much water and mixed it up to what I thought was the right consistency. I set the dish down in the corner, plopped Bug in front of it and watched to a minute to see his reactions.

After a few seconds of hesitation he quickly dove in, started splashing like he does in the bathtub and all too soon I realized my mistake. Within 2 minutes bug had splashed most of the mixture onto the walls, floor, and cabinets. 30 seconds later he picked up the dish and poured the rest all over himself. There was no point in crying over the spilled milk, he was having too much fun in it.

After hosing Bug down in the shower and setting him up in the high chair with a few books (should have just started with that) I pulled out a mop to begin clean up (you can start laughing at me now). Just as quickly I realized another bad decision, so I grabbed an old towel cleaned most of the goopiness away and then got the mop again, figuring I would have to go over it at least twice. The third time I was beginning to doubt the residue would come off and thought that if it wasn't for the crazy cornstarch this floor would be the cleanest it has ever been.

Finally the 4th time I got a few rags, a floor cleaner and washed the floor old fashion style - on hands and knees. This did the trick, again wondering why I didn't just start there in the first place. But at last the dishes were put away, the boys were down for their naps, and meal prep wash finished.

So there you have it, my Bad Day Moment.

ceconner ©5.21.2014

A Facebook Message Changed My Life

It was a rare evening for me, sitting on the couch, surfing Facebook, watching Netflix, and a little blogging. A group Facebook chat popped up from my cousin, one who I hadn't talk to in years.  Not remembering the last time we talked, he and his wife lived across the country in rainy Seattle, the message interested me. The message was short asking a few friends/family members if anyone knew of someone that would be interested in becoming a live in nanny, committing to at least one year in Seattle.

You're going to Seattle.

Uh-What? Yeah right. I have NEVER thought about going to Seattle, I hate the rain.

I pushed all thoughts of Seattle aside. But they wouldn't stay on the sidelines.

You have always wanted to see the other side of the country.
You love kids, you love seeing new places, why wouldn't you go?
This is the change that you have been praying for.  

Bear and His Doggies

With these thoughts running through my head I responded to my cousin asking for more information. I mean what could a little more information hurt, right?

Right.

The more information I received the more I knew it was just a matter of time before I said yes.

In Less Than 1 Week Bear Captured My Heart!

After a few weeks of serious thinking I still wasn't sure if I should go. I LOVED my support system in NY; my friends, family, and co-workers.  With my mom's illness, my nieces growing up, and my closest friends living right by me; I couldn't really justify leaving. But something kept stirring in me.

Excitement about a new city, a new place, a new job wouldn't let me close the door. So I did what any girl in my shoes would do, I poured it all out to my mom. We had a long long talk but only one thing she said stuck with me

 "You have to live your life, don't let someone else dictate what you do".

Her words hit home, I couldn't let the fact that my parents would miss me, my nieces would grow up without me, and that my best-friends wouldn't be close by stop me from living my life. This sounds simplistic; almost like duh - why would you live your life based on others, but I needed someone to tell me it was okay. With almost no strings holding me down now really was the time to explore and travel. With that in mind I called my cousin up and told him "yes" I would come to Seattle.

I still had concerns, you see I tend to have a strong parental style for not being a parent. Being on the same page with a parent is a huge thing for me. Would our scheduling, discipline, and overall parenting styles match? For that matter, would we get along? Barely knowing my cousins and living on my own for the last several years left me wondering would I like living with people again.

They Had Me With Water!

They asked me to come out for a week to get to know Bear, help with a move, and get a taste for Seattle. I still remember getting off the airplane being a ball of nerves wondering what my cousin's wife (Lys) would be like, would we get along, would this work out well.

Within minutes of re-meeting Lys (we met once before about 14 years ago) I knew we would be good friends. By the time we reached the house it was very clear we I had nothing to worry about. As the week went on all doubts about how well we got a long, living with family, and child-care differences all vanished. One conversation sticks in my mind as we were taking Bear for a walk. She was describing their reasons for a sleep schedule and the whole time I just kept on saying uh-huh, yup, I agree. She told me the two books they use if I wanted to know their reasons why, my response was "I completely agree with all of it". That was the moment I knew, knew this would be better than either of us hoped.

My first look at Pikes Market

Now almost a year later I can say without a doubt - answering that one Facebook message, the message that took me on a road-trip across the country has forever changed my life; not only physically but down to the very core of who I am. Moving away from my comfort zone allowed me to finally become comfortable with who I am, pour into 2 little boys lives, and enjoy summer weather from outside a desk (hehe).

ceconner ©5.19.2014

The Slow Change

I remember being a little girl walking into my Daddy's home office. He would have a stack of papers waiting for me to sort, alphabetize, and file away. For all that work I got paid - a happy meal, which later turned to $10 as the years went on. Never would I call the work fun, but is was calming and therapeutic for me and although not fun it was enjoyable.

At 17 my first "grown up" job was at a small doctor's office doing clerical work, answering phones, stocking needles, loading up on band aids, sorting charts for the day, and making mailing lists in excel.

At 19 a local painting company hired me to be their office manager, within a few months their system was paperless and all expenses were able to be tracked electronically.

So at 21 when a full-time office assistant job opened up at a local radio station, how could I not take it. It was second nature for me to sit at a desk and keep the office organized.

With my passion for kids completely off the table it was the next most natural thing for me to do. So I took the job and was as happy as could be, for the first two years. To this day I still love my (then) co-workers, the place of employment, and everyone surrounding that place. It will always feel like home when walking through those front doors.

Yet when my friends started sharing their need for child-care with me something about my office work seemed less important. Not that it was, not that anything I or others did there wasn't (isn't) great and needed and crazy important in keeping that station running smoothly, but for my life it got knocked down a rung on the importance scale. As the months went on the once calming and enjoyable office work became for tedious and daunting.

Mix that with an inner stirring, a knowing that God was going to call me away, but just waiting for the when and where - something was happening in me. I started looking at different options, but none of them felt right. The top of my list was a flight attendant (hey the job has always interested me), followed by moving to Salt Lake with my brother, or Nashville with a friend.

Then I started looking at Montana or Wyoming, the child-hood desires to live there was still nestled softly in my heart.

Before any of those options became viable I saw a need in my own backyard. A need for more than just once a week child-care for MANY of the families around me. But how could I charge for child-care when most of the families I would wanted to help couldn't afford it, anyone with kids knows child-care is not cheap, even at the cheapest level. I couldn't leave a full-time job that paid the bills for a less then part-time idea that certainly wouldn't.

The day-care idea got put on hold, the needs around me and the desire to move west didn't (by west I mean Utah or Montana, not the coast). I kept waiting, kept praying, seeing what would land on my lap.

Then March 4, 2013 came around...

 

 Stayed tuned for what March 4th brought to this blogger. 

CECONNER ©5.5.2014